The Irony of Death

This past week I experienced three deaths. The first being a stranger and the other two friends. I've had a really hard time pulling this together... When it came to me I was driving and I had the whole thing in my mind... I wish I had had a notebook. Often writings here are happy and jovial... maybe that's why this is so hard for me... I have something to say... but it's too close... the pain that is.

The first death was the one earlier in the week... it was an unexpected tragedy that this mans friends and family members were all of a sudden handed to deal with. Friday morning I got a message that a friend who had been battling cancer passed away the day before... then Saturday morning a message of yet another. The two latter were anticipated to some degree. Yes, hope was there for healing and for a time there was... but this monster defeated these two dear ladies in the end.  Although my friends loved ones were able to say good bye, there is still the pain that they are left to deal with. 

There is not just physical death though... there are deaths of relationships as well. I would venture to say that many of us have in one way or another experienced at least one.  These too can be sudden or long and drawn out...  and just as painful...

Relationships like healing take work, hard work.  They take the efforts of all involved...kindness, love, patience and long suffering need to be in place.  Sometimes those hurts have been buried for a long time, festering underneath causing disturbances along life's path. Having never been properly dealt with they seem to continually creep into our lives.  Then there are those sudden loses that leave you wondering what happened.  Either way, pain is involved.

As those deaths rise up in my life, whether physical or relational, I must keep my focus on a higher calling... a calling that when life ends I will hear those blessed words, 'Well done my faithful servant, enter thou into the joys of the Lord..."

Until next time,
Jean

   

"Dear Jesus..."

Poor little boys... stomach flu has struck. Last evening we started in with those terrible words that every mother hates to hear, "Mommy, my stomach hurts..."  Not much later things started to fly~ literally ... I didn't get much sleep last night and decided it would be wise to sleep with the night light on so if Aaron happened to have round two in bed... I didn't feel like changing the sheets again! Four thirty in the morning called for a change of clothes and diaper for the wee man... what a mess.  Such is the life of a mommy...

Earlier today Evan was lying on the couch and wanted me to sit with him because his tummy was starting to hurt again... so I snuggled in with him and the bucket. I was talking to one of the other children when I heard Evan muttering something. I turned to ask him what he said when I saw his sweet blue eyes closed and small little paddies folded... he was whispering a prayer. As I listened quietly, he was asking Jesus to make it so he didn't throw up again and to please make him feel better.  When he opened his eyes I was just smiling at him... he said he hoped Jesus would help him.  I told him to have faith and believe... "What's faith mommy?"  Oh my heart... this sweet little child...so I tried to answer as best as I could on such a complex question to a five year old... "Faith is believing that God can make you feel better and trusting that He will."  He looked at me with hope in his eyes... "Okay mommy..."

But right now all is well... Aaron is playing with his favorite toy... the electric hand mixer~ he loves to hear it go and Evan is cuddling with his kitty on the couch... I am working on supper... all is well and good.

Until next time,
Jean

More from Wren In The Willow

Hello to all my friends here at Wren In The Willow. I would like to take this opportunity to invite you to come and visit me at my new Facebook page dedicated to Wren...

I will have daily inspirations, photos and other things in between my posts here... hope to see you there.

Here is the link to follow
http://www.facebook.com/pages/Wren-In-The-Willow/137572243072292?ref=hl

Enjoy friends...
Jean

Unconditional Love

I saw a man die tonight.  I was on my way to the writer's workshop I've been taking and I witnessed a car drive right into the back of a semi... He died shortly after the collision.  I was about to pull out behind that semi, but as I looked at the oncoming traffic the car seemed to be moving at a very high speed... I chose to wait.  As the car passed by me I thought, "Surely he is going to slow down!   Is there a passing lane on the other side of the semi I'm just not seeing?" Smash! Glass everywhere... fire.... I got out and immediately called 911... neighbors came with fire extinguisher... they told him to hold on, help was coming... he was crushed, head hung... grey hair, big fellow...
Siren's and lights coming in the distance... I can't believe this is happening... a different decision and I would have been right there in the midst of the glass...and death...

What is unconditional love? I've thought a lot about this the last while...Do I love only when things are being done to my specifications? Do I withhold love when disobedience or rebellion rise up against me? Spouse, children, friends... do I treat them differently?  When I think about conditional love and how I expect it to be given to me, I wonder if I 'do unto others'...

Tonight someone got a phone call... a most dreaded phone call... Were angry words left undone, or will this sudden good bye bring pain yet not regret of hurts neglected?  If we were to be taken suddenly, would we leave pain to a loved one or mostly happy memories?  None of us have an assurance for tomorrow. That man didn't wake this morning thinking he would not slip back into bed tonight... but he's not. We don't know when our time will come and not everyone will be given the opportunity to make wrongs right.

Lets take this day and realize what really matters and why...
Until next time,
Jean

     

I See The Moon and The Moon See's You

Last night little Aaron comes and takes my hand, pulling it and gesturing for me to come with him. So of course I drop everything I'm doing and go with my little sweetie.  He takes me upstairs to the big hall window and points out and says in his little language 'the moon'.... Oh how my heart just about leapt out of my chest... I love that little man so much.  You see, I have always told all my children that I love them all the way to the moon and the stars... and back again.  Even though Aaron is only two, he knows how much mamma loves him.  I grabbed him up and just hugged him and he hugged all the way back, giggling that he showed me our 'love moon'. 

"How much do you love me mommy?" Evan likes to ask... "Well don't you know?" I ask because this is what he wants to hear.... "Nope... tell me mommy..." "Oh my... I love you all the way to the stars and the moon and back again, that's how much I love you Evan!"  Eyes twinkle with delight and the little five year old arms get thrown around this mommies neck along with a bunch of kisses...

A mothers love knows no boundary... it's as vast as the wide, open ocean... as big as the endless sky... as free as the wind...

a poem... 
"Mother's Love"

"Her love is like an island
In life's ocean, vast and wide,
A peaceful, quiet shelter
From the wind, and rain, and tide.

'Tis bound on the north by Hope,
By Patience on the west,
By tender Counsel on the south,
And on the east by Rest.

Above it like a beacon light,
Shine faith, and truth, and prayer;
And through the changing scenes of life,
I find a haven there.
    - Author Unknown

Love is free to give... love is free to have...
Until next time...
Jean 

 

Tomorrow...

The other night when I was tucking Evan into bed he asked another one of his so sweet & innocent questions... "Mommy, is it tomorrow?"... I smile and put my hand on his cheek and tell him, "No Ev an, it's today, but when you wake up in the morning it will be tomorrow."  "Oh! Good, I can't wait then!"  And that was that and he snuggled in close and fell asleep. I just had to think, "I wonder if he'll ask me in the morning if it's tomorrow!"  At the ripe ole age of five, Evan has no concept that tomorrow will be today tomorrow and today will be yesterday tomorrow.

Isn't that the way it is though? Time ticks on day after day and where are we going? Evan had big plans for 'tomorrow' as he drifted off to sleep... dreams of setting up his play farm in his make believe pasture... dreams of building a snowman with big brother Kyle... dreams of spaghetti for lunch... We all have dreams and hopes... not only for ourselves but for our children. What are we doing to make those dreams come to fruition... hopes, dreams, inspirations... they are the well spring of our lives... they keep us looking into tomorrow with that continual 'hope'. That's what it really boils down to... hope which in turn needs faith...

"Life is a highway on which the years go by, sometimes the road is level, sometimes the hills are high. But as we travel onward to a future that's unkonw, we can make each mile we travel a heavenly stepping stone!"  Helen Steiner Rice

Until next time,
Jean

Remember When...

"Dear child of God, if after great mercy you are laid very low, your case is not an unusual one. When David had mounted the throne of Israel, he said, “I am this day weak, though anointed king.” You must expect to feel weakest when you are enjoying your greatest triumph. If God has wrought for you great deliverance s in the past, your present difficulty is only like Samson’s thirst, and the Lord will not let you faint, nor suffer the daughter of the uncircumcised to triumph over you. The road of sorrow is the road to heaven, but there are wells of refreshing water all along the route. So, tried brother, cheer your heart with Samson’s words, and rest assured that God will deliver you ere long." Charles Spurgeon

Each one of us is able to recall times when the Lord has delivered us out of a time of sorrow, sickness or temptation. We who call ourselves Christians know that our Heavenly Father is there looking down and keeping us under His wings.  Yet at times we struggle with faith in the heat of the battle, shall I say... when the tempest is nigh we tend to grow faint and weary from the great war for our souls... The illustration that Spurgeon gives here of Samson is so true to our human nature whether we are young or old.  A victory of killing a thousand Philistines and then doubting God to provide him with a drink...  Oh the spirit is willing but the flesh is weak...

As I watch my children interact with one another, I see this conflict in their everyday life playing out in many ways.  Evan and Aaron can be playing beautifully one moment and then, BAM! "That's mine! Mom, Aaron took my truck!"  ...and so goes the life of a five and two year old.  So, as I take Aaron up into my lap and try to explain to him in a way he can understand, he needs to give Evan back the toy. Sometimes he is very willing and can be 'encouraged' to do so with the presentation of another toy, and then other times there is no way he is going to give it up.  Teaching these two little boys who are obviously at different levels of understanding to be kind and loving to one another is to say the least a challenge! They interact for almost all waking hours of the day and for the most part play beautifully together. 

Isn't that like us... we're going along pretty smoothly, not too many bumps in the road and then suddenly we hit a really big pot hole, and crash! There we are sitting on our rumps with this 'what happened' look on our face.  Questions like, "Why now? What is the reason for this? What am I supposed to learn out of this disaster?" pop up instantly... faith... where did it go? Didn't the Lord just answer that prayer two days ago? Didn't He just this morning provide us with the answer we were seeking after?  Faith... sudden challenges present themselves and what do we do with them?

We need to keep looking up... we need to trust that He does have a plan... we need to remember all the wonderful things He has done for us... remember when...

Until next time,
Jean